Dir. by Jean Rollin - 1 hr. 20 min.
With a title like this, you know right off that it's probably not going to be very good. And that's sort of true; the plot and dialogue are completely worthless, but visually, there are some interesting things going on. The story is that there is a cult in hoods that sort of possess a lovely young woman, whom they are convinced is actually a vampire. The cult is trying to cure her and keep her away from another cult of vampires that want her back. Sigh...
I'm not that upset that the plot was inane (and ultimately pointless). Again, with a title like that, you know what you're in for. And there was certainly nudity, and there sort-of were vampires (though they certainly didn't sparkle). The visuals in the first half or so of the movie were very good for this sort of thing (low-budget Italian indie film from that era). It's not exactly a David Lynch film (or a Alejandro Jodorowsky film, if you really want to get freaky), but the surrealism was well-done, and effectively distracted from the lack of anything else to back it up.
Look, it's best not to think too much about this kind of film. Otherwise, I'd start getting very mad about the bizarrely snail-like pace of the third act (there is literally a shot of two men walking into the distance away from the camera, having a pointless conversation that runs for FOREVER), or about the ending which essentially tells you that you that everything the movie was supposed to be about was false (so thanks for the 80 minutes, sucker!). Instead, I'll just say that the eye-candy (insert eyebrow waggle) was nice, there were a lot of visually interesting shooting locations, and that is all you're going to get from "The Nude Vampire."
1.5 / 5 - NF Streaming