Hot Tub Time Machine 2 - 2015

"Hot Tub Time Machine 2" - 2015
Dir. by Steve Pink - 1 hr. 33 min.

Official Trailer

by Clayton Hollifield

You know how, when you get a second album by a band you really liked, and only this time there's a new singer or a new guitarist, how that usually means trouble?  That.  Or like when your favorite basketball team suddenly trades away their borderline all-star who made everyone around him better, you know you're going to be in for a long season?  That, also.  In the world of "Hot Tub Time Machine 2," the key missing element would be John Cusack, who was also the only decent actor among the cast.  So when you remove the one guy who can act, and bring back everyone else...

What's left.

This time around, success is not enough for Lou (Rob Corddry), Nick (Craig Robinson), and Jacob (Clark Duke).  Lou goes off the deep end (or just continues his trajectory, more accurately), and ends up getting shot in the dick (yes, really) at his own party.  Since Lou has possession of the hot tub of extraordinary powers, all three hop in to try and head off Lou's impending assassination.  As it turns out, they end up ten years in the future, because they go where they're needed to be, not where they want to be. 

First off, the positives.  There are some funny bits here; it's not that the cast isn't funny, it's that they can't act.  So the dialogue is good, the timing is good, even some of the comedic premises and performances are good.  In particularly, I was laughing at a game show called "Choozy Doozy," a scene at an urgent care clinic, and there are good lines all the way through.  Adam Scott was funny in his role as John Cusack's straight-laced son.  This is far from the worst movie I've ever seen.  While I wasn't happy with it overall, there were parts I enjoyed, and it didn't drag too badly.

Three guesses which one the audience chooses...

But the first movie was unusual, partly because it felt a little more honest, which was partly due to building it around Cusack, who has the ability to make you think there's more going on than there is actually going on.  Even though the first installment was a "R-rated comedy," which has become a genre of it's own, seeing an unusual face like Cusack's involved lent credibility to the whole affair, suggesting that film was going to be a bit more than swearing, nudity, and copious irresponsible behavior.  Minus that, the sequel has to rely on the one-note asshole Lou and the wooden Nick as it's leads.  This does not work nearly as well.  Corddry at least seems committed to the role, Craig Robinson seems barely awake for much of the time.  I'm not exactly mad at anyone involved with the film; get your cash when it's on the table.

The second big issue I have is that the premise of the movie is unrelatable.  It's entirely believeable that people have regrets, and would gladly take a mulligan on some of their earlier behavior.  This time around, the characters actually debate trying again because they think they can do better than being worth $2.6 billion (Lou), and then have to prevent the least likable character from getting murdered.  Even Lou doesn't seem to care about preventing his own death; it's only the fact that he starts "flickering" when he goes off trail that keeps him sort of on-point.  So if they don't care and I don't care, who cares?

"Webber Strut"
After the first film, my working theory was that the characters were all doomed to failure because none of them could get anything right the first time, and that would ultimately catch up to all of them.  I guess I was right.  But all in all, this feels like when they killed off Vin Diesel's character in "xXx" because he didn't want to do a sequel, and then we got a shitty sequel that starred Ice Cube in such terrible shape he wore the equivalent of a parka for the entire film.  If Vin wanted to do another "xXx" film, I feel like it would happen in short order, but we'd all like to forget about that half-assed sequel.  If John Cusack ever wants to get involved with the "Hot Tub" series again, I'd be on board instantly.  Until then, no more awful half-measures, please.

1.5 / 5 - Streaming

Hell Baby - 2013

"Hell Baby" - 2013
Dir. by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon - 1 hr. 38 min.

Official Trailer #1

by Clayton Hollifield

What happens when you combine half of the actors from Adult Swim and half of the actors from Comedy Central, and a possessed baby horror movie plot?  "Hell Baby."  Is that a good thing?  That's going to take a little bit longer to answer.

Jack (Rob Corddry) and Vanessa (Leslie Bibb) move into a run-down house in New Orleans, not knowing that the locals refer to it as the "House of Blood."  It also comes with F'resnel (Keegan-Michael Key), who lives in the crawlspace, and has a bad habit of surprising people when he shows up.  The house starts negatively influencing super-pregnant Vanessa, who starts drinking and smoking and can apparently communicate with ghost dogs.  A pair of dimwitted cops (Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel) and a pair of very European Fathers (Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant) are dispatched to find out what's behind some of the gory things suddenly happening surrounding Jack and Vanessa.

On occasion, I'll watch a film that's made by comedians that I generally like (in this case. directors Lennon and Garant, who you might know from "The State" or "Reno 911"), but it deals in a genre of film that I don't particularly care for.  It's the nature of comedy, and comedy groups in particular, that they're going to have to tackle different subject matter over time, because that's way easier to do than to overhaul everyone's comedic sensibilities.  I very rarely see a horror film, and usually the only reason that I do is if there are actors involved that I really want to watch.  "Hell Baby" is a perfect example of this, and how I usually end up feeling about this situation.  In the first place, at least I was motivated to watch the film, which I can't say about 99% of horror films, so there's that.  But this film also takes residence fairly low on the list of works that I've enjoyed by this batch of people (any of them, really).

"Hell Baby" isn't terrible, and there are both very funny moments and very funny people involved here.  One of the other traps that comedies can fall into is that the main characters don't get any of the good material, playing straight men to the cast of crazies that they come across.  That happens here, Corddry doesn't really bust off anything memorable, but that's not really the role.  He's more of the put-upon, freaked out guy that stuff happens to, and he pulls that off well.  Leslie Bibb does a great comedic job of alternating between faux-innocence and manipulative demonically-possessed wife (well, it's the demon that's in her womb, really).  Everyone else gets to roll in, do something funny, and then disappear.  And there's a fairly long list of instances of that succeeding, my favorite being Kumail Nanjiani's low-speed departure from the House of Blood.

The biggest thing about "Hell Baby" is that how much you enjoy it is going to largely depend on how much you like horror films, because even though this is a comedy, the plot is going to hit all the horror movie standard plot points in order.  If that doesn't appeal to you, there are laughs all the way through the film, and it goes by fairly smoothly, but you're still going through the framework of a horror film.  Everyone has a particular genre that they're partial to, and this was outside of mine.  The people involved in making "Hell Baby" were enough to get me on-board, but I didn't get anything beyond that out of watching it.  Even if you love horror movies, I don't think this would suddenly become an instant classic.  "Hell Baby" did accomplish one thing, though.  I really want to try one of those Po-Boy's that warranted not one, but two mouth-orgy scenes.

2 / 5 - TV (HD)

Pain & Gain - 2013

"Pain & Gain" - 2013
Dir. by Michael Bay - 2 hrs. 9 min.

Official Red Band Trailer

by Clayton Hollifield

First off, I'm not hating on this film because Michael Bay made it.  In fact, if you were going to make a movie about an overly testosterone-laden trio of bodybuilders who try to pull off a criminal plan that they are convinced is foolproof and genius, and it's set in 90's Miami, I'd be hard-pressed to come up with someone more appropriate for the job.  "Pain & Gain" is a big, flashy, dumb, aggressive, and pretty funny movie.  It feels like one of those movies where everyone involved just shows up, does exactly what they're good at, and that's it.

Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) is an aspirational personal trainer: he wants the American Dream.  He manages to triple his gym's membership in three months, so he's not completely clueless, but this success just serves to open his eyes to the kind of success he's not having.  Daniel hatches a kidnapping plot at the expense of one of his clients, and ropes fellow trainers Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and Paul (Dwayne Johnson) into the scheme.  Of course, it doesn't go as smoothly as they'd hoped, but it is ultimately successful.  This gives all three men access to the high life, which they handle with varying aplomb, which means that they reluctantly plan another kidnapping.

As I mentioned earlier, Michael Bay is exactly the right guy to handle this kind of material.  The very idea of fitness as a means of overall self-improvement is central to the film (as is the single-minded focus required to achieve it), and a filmmaker who wasn't sympathetic to that idea would likely make a completely insufferable film based on this material.  There is no such thing as an ironic push-up, and all of the characters involved have the mind-set that you get things done by putting your head down and pushing through the pain.  It should also be mentioned that this film is based on a true story (how closely, who knows?), so the setting and the characters involved aren't really interchangeable with other kinds of stock characters.  Frankly, most of the appeal of "Pain & Gain" lies in seeing three meat-heads trying to pull off a kidnapping, and how badly they're going to botch the job.

And the storytelling is pretty decent, too.  Each of the three meat-heads has a distinct character and motivation, which is something that could have been glossed over.  They may not all be smart, or good people, but they are people.  That makes the story a lot more complicated, and a lot more interesting.  Daniel is a natural-born leader, but without substance, so he's prone to running afoul of the law.  Paul is desperately clinging onto his sobriety, which is a difficult task when no one will give an ex-con a break, and even the people who are supposed to help him try to take advantage of him.  And Adrian is sort of the runt of the gym, who can't possibly live up to the standards that everyone around him are setting.  He's desperate for approval in that situation, and Daniel takes advantage of that neediness.  So you don't have three mute big dudes trying to pull something off, you've got three people with different weaknesses and personalities, barely functioning as a team.  This is more thought and characterization than was necessary for this movie, and it goes a long way.

As far as the acting goes, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has the most ground to tread.  He plays his character both clinging to sobriety and barely functional due to drug use over the course of the film, and there's a definite transformation.  Yeah, he's still huge and muscly all the way through, but there's also some honest-to-goodness acting going on here.  Wahlberg is good, but it's not anything you haven't seen from him before.  Anthony Mackie has the most embarrassing material to work with, but he manages to make himself sympathetic through it.  And Tony Shaloub (he plays the first kidnapping victim) is great as the victim that nobody can sympathize with because he treats everyone so shabbily.

But we're still dealing with a Michael Bay film here.  Yes, there is a shot of three men walking towards the camera in slow-motion while something blows up behind them (which is hilarious, considering Wahlberg already made fun of that exact shot with Will Ferrell in "The Other Guys").  Yes, nearly all the women are strippers (or work in the sex industry one way or another).  Yes, it's in Miami.  This all to say that while this is a fun film (in a sick way), and everyone shows up with their working boots on, no one does anything at all that would stretch your perception of their abilities.  That is not a prerequisite for my enjoying a film, I can enjoy the application of hard-earned mastery of one's craft.  I can enjoy big, dumb movies.  And I enjoyed this one all the way through (although I did get a little hungry by the end of it).  But this is not the best film any of these men have made.  "Pain & Gain" falls into the category of a movie where you'll enjoy it if you're into the idea or the actors, and it's probably not going to convert anyone if you're not already inclined to a generous opinion of the idea or the cast.  Unless, of course, you like the idea of seeing Mark Wahlberg with a dress shirt tucked into jean shorts, or of seeing men wearing fanny packs non-ironically, which is pretty awesome.

2.5 / 5 - Theatre

Hot Tub Time Machine - 2010

"Hot Tub Time Machine" - 2010
Dir. by Steve Pink - 1 hr. 41 min.

Official Red Band Trailer

by Clayton Hollifield

Now that I've watched "Hot Tub Time Machine" a handful of times, I think this might be one of the darkest comedies ever committed to film.  Part of that is John Cusack; no matter the film, he always seems to have a cloud hanging over his head (and is still completely watchable, which is his magic trick).  But the entire premise is completely messed up, and as jammed full of real, relatable human misery as I've ever seen, and is still riotously hilarious.

A frayed group of miserable friends in their forties is reunited when one of them, Lou (Rob Corddry) described as being "an asshole, but he's our asshole," lands in the hospital what maybe possibly could have been a suicide attempt (he was drunk, and left the car running in his garage.  His friends, Nick (Craig Robinson) and Adam (John Cusack), plus Adam's nephew, Jacob (Clark Duke) plan a weekend bacchanal at Kodiak Valley Ski Resort.  Upon arrival, they find out that the resort has decayed a bit from its glory days during their collective youth.  They charge forward, and spend the night punishing the hell out of their livers, and wake up in their suite's hot tub. The tub has somehow transported the crew back to 1986, giving them a chance to relive one of their greatest weekends (for most of them).

First off, all of the characters are completely miserable, and it's not some vague malaise that can't quite be defined.  Nick works at a dog-groomer's, fishing keys out of the wrong end of dogs, having given up on the music career he sought as a teenager at his wife's request.  Adam has just broken up with a long-term girlfriend, and not in a painless way.  Jacob is isolated in Adam's basement, content with playing Second Life even though his character has been imprisoned within the game, and barely aware that someone in his own house has moved out.  And Lou has taken the drifting apart of his friends and resulting isolation very, very hard.  These are all real-life situations that people may find themselves in, and not knowing how to get out of.

In 1986, though, at a mysterious janitor's (Chevy Chase) insistence, they all have to relive the weekend exactly the way that it happened.  The weekend had a nostalgic haze over it, but this isn't a great deal for any of them (not to mention Jacob, who wasn't even born, and thus is completely bewildered by the 80s).  Adam has to break up with the girl that he'd always regretted breaking up with (and get stabbed in the eye with a fork), Lou has multiple ass-beatings in his immediate future, and since Nick had managed to pull a groupie after his mediocre singing performance, it dredges up some intense emotions regarding his current marital situation (and he cries all the way through the sex).  It doesn't take any of them very long to go into business for themselves, regardless of the consequences.

But for the most part, things end up with the same results, regardless of the details of how each of them arrives at the end of their road.  And this is the message of the film: you cannot escape your destiny.  But the opportunity does arise for one of them to break free; Lou admits that he was trying to kill himself, and didn't want to return to the future, knowing that he'll just keeping trying until he gets it right.  When the rest of them do return to the future, it turns out that Lou had used all of his "future knowledge" to make a fortune.  In the present day, we now have Lougle and Motley Lue, and he's used his fortune to help his friends see out their  dreams as well.

This is where the film turns so black for me; Lou only succeeds because he's given a second chance and has insider knowledge.  But every last one of these characters has screwed up everything they do on the first pass.  Once they've outlived what they already knew, and don't know what bad choices they have to avoid, they're sure to screw everything up all over again.  And although the film ends on a high point for all involved (and then with a kick-ass Motley Lue video for "Home Sweet Home"), if you've paid attention at all to what the story has been telling you, this is only a momentary success for these men.  And the fall will be even harder this time, since they've all had to be rescued from their own failures once before, tasted mead in Valhalla, and then have to return to being failures.  You cannot escape your destiny, no matter what roads you take to get there.

There's no end of really funny material here, even upon repeat viewings (I think I'm up to four or five times around now).  But if you're in a bad mood, or feeling nostalgic for when you actually used to see your friends, those are the wrong frames of mind to watch "Hot Tub Time Machine" in.  Laughter is supposed to help you out, but the downer message really stuck with me this time around.  But that doesn't diminish the movie in any way, grounding the characters so successfully makes the good times feel a little bit better.

3.5 / 5 - DVD